Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘scary birds’ Category

A bird in the hand

It was a slow night at the shop this past Monday…

Anyone who has read my blogs for a decent amount of time knows that I don’t enjoy birds. Certainly my Scary Bird video of July 2007 showed that when it comes to birds that they freak me out. It’s not so much that I dislike birds, it’s just that I don’t want them near me (and in the case of the previously mentioned video I obviously don’t like it when they make their Scary Bird sounds at me either. LOL).

I’ve had issues with birds since I was little. On trips to the zoo, the walk-through bird house always caused me anxiety and I’d try to get through it as quickly as possible without losing whatever group I was with. It didn’t dawn on me until my late teens that I could actually refuse to go through the bird house and meet the others on the opposite side… I was a little slow on the uptake apparently.

Considering this issue I have with birds being in close proximity to me, imagine my disposition when on Monday while working at the shop I hear, “There’s another damn bird in the store…” spring from Sabrina’s mouth. Apparently there had been a bird in the store last week too when I was, thankfully, not working. I wasn’t so lucky this time though…

So this bird is flying around the store. Flying, swooping and dive bombing dipping low basically freaking me the hell out. Each time the bird flew anywhere near me I let out a girlie squeak with a duck of my head. :o)

LuAnn, one of our newest TB employees, clearly isn’t afraid of our feathered friends because she decided she’d try and catch the bird for a safe release outside. She grabbed a blanket as Super Bird-Catching Tool and Lisa, another employee, says, “Not the Collinette blanket!!” Swapping her expensive tool for a less expensive one she then set out to track the bird.

Eventually the bird who I admit I felt bad for, as long as s/he wasn’t near me, flew right into one of the front windows and went down real fast. In a moment of sheer bravery, or perhaps momentary insanity, I went to the front of the store with the Bird Hunter to see if perhaps the bird broke it’s neck or at least stunned itself. We get up to the front and there’s no sign of Tweety whatsoever. I pointed out to LuAnn where I saw the bird fall (oh-so-conveniently between the window and the pattern folders). I tried to see the bird from the side while LuAnn perched with the non-collinette blanket.

You do know what happened next, right? *nods* Yeah, Tweety comes flying out from behind the pattern folders right over LuAnn’s head like a jet fighter. I may have swore, I may have squeaked, all I remember is jumping back several feet real fast to avoid Zogega** Then LuAnn and I laughed our asses off.

Tweety’s now flying around the store like a drunk airline pilot and hitting the walls, the lights, and occasionally taking a break to rest on the assorted sweater models that hang from our ceiling. Lisa meanwhile keeps mentioning that the bird has a brain the size of a pea and keeps telling me to calm down each time that Tweety dive bombed us.

At one point while I was helping Lisa with a yarn and pattern question, Tweety decided to hide on the floor under a spinner rack of yarn. Lisa swore the bird wasn’t there and was walking around the spinner to look for him. *nods again* Tweety comes flying out from under the spinner right over my head and I again ducked and covered.

Lisa says, “Kellie… walk this way…”

LOL the damn bird was on a model right over my head! Ahhh!

Eventually LuAnn and Lisa said they had the bird and took the blanket outside to release the little guy but alas… no bird. LOL I dunno what they thought they had but it wasn’t Tweety. He finally went through one of the vents and found himself stuck in the drop ceiling of the store where we heard him flying around and banging on the ceiling tiles. We didn’t have a return appearance so hopefully s/he got out somehow but the whole experience was certainly an interesting one. :o)

Yeah, I can totally do without every having a bird in the store again… mmmkay?

** An evil Bird Spirit called, Zogega, guarded the shore of an island from which the bad spirits made cannibalistic forays against the humans.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »